A Person Who Exists

A long time ago, I fell in love.

It’s crazy, I know, but 23 year old me didn’t know any better. I had just left my previous job, and was just starting a new chapter in my life. About a month prior, I had just been stood up for a date by one woman, and was softly rejected by another. Imagine my surprise when I join a friend of mine for a game night, and I meet her. She and I had similar hobbies and music taste. Sure, she wasn’t the prettiest, and it’s not like I fell in love with her at first sight, but she was the only girl who joined us that night, so naturally, she stood out. I talked to her a bit, and felt some sort of interest, and even attraction to her. By the end of the night, I invited her out to dinner at a rather nice restaurant. She accepted. Perhaps I should have stated that it was a date in no uncertain terms, but at the time, I was ecstatic. We end up eating dinner around a week or two after. She was late. Extremely late, around 30 minutes late. Poor me was just happy she showed up, however. Just a few days prior, I was already lamenting the possibility of being stood up again. Anyway, the “date” went well, and I asked her if she wanted to see me again. She said yes. Our next time seeing each other was when we went out for some karaoke. Up until then, I had never done a karaoke date. Sure, I’ve done it with friends, but never with just one other person for a date. I pulled out my best songs at first, thinking that I would woo her. She was not a great singer, but I enjoyed her voice regardless. I even decided that I would sing a special song with her, a duet that I had never saved for anyone else. Ah, memories. I will never forget myself having fun and making a fool out of myself just to sing some songs I couldn’t reach, but were by an artist we both enjoyed. Honestly, I should’ve picked up the signs this early, as she was wondering why I was willing to pay for the both of us. Sure, it could be the fact that she’s older than me, but I should have realized that the lack of the expectation on her part might have meant that she wasn’t as interested in me as I had hoped. Then on to the third and final time. We went to the arcade and had fun, we even went out for some ice cream! But on the way home, she hit me with a word I could never have expected. The dreaded “b” word. Not “bro” but “bestie.” I loathe to recall the phrase she used it in now, but safe to say, I realized that I would need to do something about it. Anyway, I told said friend who introduced me to her about this, and he told me to just go invite her for another date, while being serious about my expectations, flowers, dinner, hotel room, the whole nine yards. Unfortunately, I am now unsure of the timeline of events. Anyway, at the end of our third “date” I invited her for a fourth one, and specifically told her when she confirmed “it’s a date.” She said yes. Some time later, I received a text message from her telling me that she was confused by how I worded my last invitation. Specifically, about the “date” part. A few messages later, and I set up a call with her the next morning. I admit, the call that followed was most definitely not my finest hour, as I believe I was rather abrasive about how I phrased my words during the call. Anyway, long story short, I told her that I felt she was giving me signs she was interested in me, and was rather disappointed to hear that she did not feel the same way. Wanting to cut my losses, we decided it would be best if we didn’t see each other again. My friends obviously took my side in this, and told me I was getting played the whole time and that she knew what she was doing. I was quite angry at first, but over time, I went through the whole gamut of emotions. One of my friends was so angry at her for treating me that way (mostly because he saw what a sad wreck I ended up being after) that he snapped at her when he saw her again during a game night. Anyway, this is just the prelude to the things that come next. This short, month long not-relationship I had would end up teaching me many valuable lessons sooner or later, and I’m quite grateful for it. But that doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt me at the time.

~Frank, April 1, 2025

Part 2