A Person Who Exists

My name is Johnny. I have lived my life as an autistic person with limits and disabilities. I have looked towards things in life that I can do and cannot do. I’ve been looking for jobs and ways to earn to be secure financially, and at the same time, friends of mine have told me to reach out to people. They told me to make new friends, since I’m pretty much isolated from the world. So I started searching for someone who maybe a partner in life, or someone to spend a good amount of time with in terms of love and amazing moments. So I did search for a girl, and she was my first. I reached out to Angela. I started talking to her online through social media. She told me she liked me and I told her I liked her back. We both knew that we liked each other. I’ve never really had the knowledge or skills to communicate like most people, and I’ve made lots of mistakes. I keep repeating words and I did not know what to talk about, so most of my topics were pointless and had no value. This went on for 1 year, and there were no results. Nothing came out of it. Because she has strict parents, I would not have a chance to date her, she is pretty much under strict control. I don’t know if she’s telling the truth or not, but I regret everything about spending time with her. I did not learn quickly enough to move on. I did not learn how to communicate. I never realized that I have to look at myself in the mirror and ask Who am I? What can I do to be successful in life? So in the end, she pissed me off. But I didn’t realize that my actions were wrong. And that’s how the conversation and my time with her ended. I’m glad I realize my mistakes now and can learn from it. Even now I’m still lacking in my communication skills and abilities, and other aspects as well. I know I’m limited, but I told myself I’ll move on and look forward to what’s next.

Yours truly,

Johnny

April 1, 2025