A Person Who Exists

I have a confession to make.

I’m not a jokester. In fact, you could hardly call me a funny guy at all. I’m not the family comedian, nor will I ever be. While I definitely love the idea of going up on stage to get paid to just talk and bullshit, I believe the best comedy has a drop of truth to it. After all, what’s funnier than poking fun at the absurdities of daily life? Sometimes, the truth laid bare is the funniest thing of all. It’s no wonder that a lot of famous comedians aren’t just known for their jokes, because their jokes tend to be part of a greater social commentary.

A normal, appropriate prank on the day of the Fool, is one that is harmless. Unfortunately for those who were on the receiving ends of my pranks, my practical jokes would not be considered harmless japes.

I have a confession to make. Literally. That’s what I would tell them on the day of April 1^st, for my “harmless” idea is one that, while does not cause any sort of physical harm, may cause some emotional turmoil.

I used to confess to girls I liked on April Fools’ Day. Why? Because it’s my get out of jail free card. I could literally just say “Hey, I like you.” Followed by “April Fools!” Scummy, I know, but what better way is there to be able to convey your emotions without fear of rejection, at least, a real one, anyway.

While I don’t know how many times I’ve performed it, I definitely didn’t do it every year. Things got in the way, life happened, my targets were no longer in my life, yadda yadda. It doesn’t hit the same when there’s no one to receive the gift of my joke, after all. If anything, I’m posting this today as a 2 for 1 special, because I DIDN’T do it today. No one I know is left to appreciate my sick, genius sense of humor.

One particular person sticks out. It was April 1^st of either 2015 or 2016. There was a girl who I liked, but not that much. I had a lot of crushes around this time, and she wasn’t number 1 on the list. But this particular day, I decided to do it. My false confession, my chance to say that I had interest without fear of it going wrong.

I told her, and I’ll never forget the look on her face. She didn’t look devastated, she didn’t look angry, nor did she look happy. Just a soft, quiet sadness. It looked like she was longing for something. I didn’t know what, though. As soon as I saw that almost sad, hopeful emotion, I shouted “April Fools!” I don’t quite remember how it ended. I think I must have run away since it was awkward. Maybe she smiled at me. I don’t know, and I don’t care to know anymore.

So why did I decide to do it? Simple, I knew she liked a friend of mine at the time. I knew there was no way she would reciprocate, so I figured I’d just shoot my shot and go. As soon as I saw her expression change, I immediately decided it was best to bail. I did what I went there for, after all. I don’t think she ever felt the same way, but that look she gave me when I confessed almost haunts me. Almost. If I didn’t follow it up with the obvious notion that it was my prank of the day, then I think I would’ve felt worse about myself. Oh well.

I’ll never know why she looked at me like that. Maybe she liked me? Maybe she didn’t? Maybe she was just surprised? Who cares, right? But I know better than to hope for a future that won’t exist.

I still think about it this day. Well, of course I do, I’m writing this now, aren’t I? In fact, this is as impulsive as it gets, just like my prank. I was not planning on posting this at all, and especially not today. But guess what? I didn’t think too hard about it. Just like I didn’t think twice about telling her I liked her, only to wait for her reaction and add the two magic words: “April Fools!”

~Frank, April 1, 2025